The People You See at the Gym

Don't judge my judging...
Don’t judge my judging…

I would like to preface this by saying at one time or another I have been all of these people.

Today I was at the gym just after 5:30AM after a terrible night’s sleep. Typically, I have the Women’s Gym to myself, but today it was hopping. I blame my tardiness for this. But, hey it is good to see so many people trying to get themselves in shape. The following is who I encountered.



Gossiping burns calories, right?
Gossiping burns calories, right?

Who needs an Ipod when you have your BFF to work out with? Actually, who needs to work out when you have your BFF to chat about the most recent diet pills and Erica from work and her upcoming divorce. These two women sat on nautilus equipment chatting about quick ways to lose weight, their plan to run later in the day and loads of gossip. I am all for rest breaks, but they were barely working out! I find this startling, like why get up wicked early then? And why not just lift the weights and not take scary ass diet pills?


The CrossFitter

Well, in that case.. sign me up!
Well, in that case.. sign me up!

To be fair I have never done CrossFit. I may be capitalizing things that need not be capitalized. I hear great things about CrossFit and am absolutely impressed with the results . One day, I may even try it if I ever get the courage to go. This woman at the gym was def practicing some WOD’s which is all well in good. EXCEPT, she was taking up ALL the room, all the weights and multiple bars. Really, dude? Ya need the curling bar AND the bench press simultaneously? You need to keep all your weights out whilst you lunge your way over to the leg press? If the gym was empty, you go girl, get your sweat on. But when the gym is hopping in the AM, have some courtesy for the other gym rats and share the space.


Sauna Suit Up

Feeling sticky and looking sexy
Feeling sticky and looking sexy

This poor girl… She had on soooo many clothes. Thick sweat pants and two sweatshirts. The Women’s Gym is on the second floor and always seems to be a balmy 80 degrees. This petite framed coed worked out on the elliptical at a good clip for about 30 min before entering the weight room dripping with sweat. I expected her to remove one of her sweatshirts or to pass out on the floor. Instead she just started using the nautilus equipment like it ain’t no thang. I am all for sweating out some toxins, but I was seriously worried about this woman. I stretched for extra long just to make sure she did not pass out. (She did not.)




I have been known to take selfies at the gym, so I feel like I can make fun of this freely. This one woman was just watching herself so carefully in the mirror. Lunging with some light weights just loving the reflection staring back at her. Honestly, she had a nice body, so I guess she has every right to admire her hard work. When she was taking her break and started to fix her eye lashes though, I started judging. And then of course she took the obligatory “At the Gym” selfie which in my mind she uploaded to all her social media outlets with #MILF #earlyriser #nofilter  etc. etc. Again, I selfie at the gym to prove to others (who most likely do not care at all) that I am at the gym hella early. I also do it to gauge my progress. It is nice to look back and see how flabby I looked.


You’re Doing it Wrong…


Wait... that's now how you use that machine?
Wait… that’s now how you use that machine?

This adorable older woman was at the gym. She was pretty much the only one who made eye contact with me and even offered me a smile as I struggled through my last set of chest presses. She maneuvered her way in between Miss Cross Fit to get to the incline bench, where she sat and drank some H20. Good for her, I mean she was pushing 60 and everyone deserves a good sit down in between sets. The thing is she was not completing any sets. She moved to the leg curl machine. She laid on that on her back and used her shins to try and push the weights up. She was not having much luck, got up to look at the diagram, laid on her stomach this time (correct) and then tried to use her shins to push the weights down (incorrect). I was about to get up and show her, but she gave up and went to the stationary bike in the other room. Again, good for her for working out and getting to the gym so early. But, injury is a real thing and using equipment wrong is dangerous. Even if you do not have the funds for a personal trainer the gym is full of trainers and qualified people to show you how to use the equipment correctly and effectively. The gym does not want you injuring yourself, liability and all. Using the machines incorrectly will leave you injured and you are working to get no/ less results. There is far less shame in asking for some help than there is in getting hurt or even worse looking like an idiot using the machines incorrectly.

The Locker Room is my Home

locker room ettiquette

I shower at the gym. I have it down to a science of what toiletries I need, shower shoes, towel, hair brushes etc. Today, I walk in after my work out to find that a woman has her whole life strewn across the locker room floor. First off, gross. If I drop a hair elastic on that floor I consider it a goner. Second of all, HOW RUDE?!? You are not the only one who needs to get ready for your super important job. There is no need for all your items to be out and about. I was less than shocked when she came out completely nude, sans shower shoes , with a towel wrapped around her head. I would have scowled at her for leaving such a mess but I would feel terrible for glaring at a naked person, prob the worst form of body shaming ever. I showered (with shower shoes), got dressed in my little cubby and came out to do my hair and make up. This hot mess of a woman was still half naked, still shoe-less and still had her shit all over the place. It was wicked annoying as my locker was close to her area. Luckily, another woman came in who seemed to have a rapport with this woman and noted how she was taking up ALL THE ROOM, which made this woman aware and she consolidated a bit.


Esp if they weigh more than 10lbs... cause that's all I can lift, Bro.
Esp if they weigh more than 10lbs… cause that’s all I can lift, Bro.


What are your pet peeves at the gym? Not Re-racking? Not wiping down equipment? Cardio queens? People who sing along with their music?  (That’s totally me…)




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