Best things about being knocked up

There is a lot of downsides to being pregnant. Mostly the whole being sober thing, but there is also morning sickness, hemorrhoids, insomnia, peeing yourself and uncontrollable emotions. BUT there are a lot of cool pros to being pregnant that I am trying to focus on as this “magical time” winds down.

  1. Lowered expectations- I have said it before and I will say it again, people expect very little from me these days. Doorbell rings at work and people tell me to have a seat, I put jeans on and people tell me I look adorable. It is awesome. I have not carried in groceries in like 2 months. Truly glorious.
  2. No judgement napping- Creating human life tuckers a person out. If I need to take a snooze post barre class or even post grocery shopping my husband applauds me. He thinks it’s great that I am taking care of myself and baby. #winning
  3. Less leg hair- So, I am a hairy beast. I typically shave my legs daily because my leg hair coat is thick and dark much like that of a black lab. Pregnancy seems to have slowed down my leg hair growth? I wish I could say it were the same for my pits and brows, but seems to be a phenomena reserved just for my gams. I will take it though especially now as the weather is getting warmer and my ability/ will to bend over is lessening.
  4. You will never have to bend over- Strangers will pick up shit for you. It is like being a toddler but better because you know how to really use the power to your benefit, not just for laughs.
  5. The sweets- People love to give pregos desserts. Interns have brought me candy, family has made desserts special for me, ice cream shoppes give me free toppings. It is like you found the golden ticket and the world is Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.
  6. Embracing the belly- After spending the first 30 years on this planet trying to camo my belly, I can now wear figure hugging shirts and dresses. I have to tell you it is very liberating. My breasts look phenomenal!
  7. Pregnancy excuse- don’t want to go meet your friends for happy hour? Blame pregnancy! Your boss wants you to stay late for a pointless meeting? I think you are having a pregnancy migraine. Part of the reason why I am having a child is so that I can truly become a hermit, and pregnancy helps you ease into being a hermit.
  8. Maternity jeans- Why are all jeans high waisted with a full panel of spandex? They are so damn comfortable.
  9. Never being hungover- I miss red wine almost as much as I miss sleeping through the night. Surviving the holidays sans alcohol was tough, but never having a hangover, headache, etc. has been  phenomenal. I truly think part of the reason I haven’t gained a thousand lbs this pregnancy is because I was drinking thousands of calories in wine each week pre pregnancy. I see my friends hungover the morning after a wedding or party and think “sucker”. To be fair the night before their hangover I was smelling their cocktail, but still a nice perk.
  10. Feeling your baby move- I’m going to get real for a brief moment. Years ago the though of being pregnant truly freaked me out. The idea of this alien life form moving inside of you skeeved me out. Fast forward to being about 14 weeks pregnant and I felt this weird flutter in my stomach. “Is that gas?” I thought. It was not like anything I had felt. As the pregnancy progressed, I can feel her more and more. It is indescribable. It is so weird to know she has her own little life inside of me, rolling around, stretching, kicking. Having my husband feel it is a cool experience too!

    The fresh glow of a sugar high!

It’s not all bad ladies! I hear that you get a cute kid when all is said and done. Friends have sworn to me that I will find my baby cuter than any puppy I have ever seen- challenge accepted.

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