Before Envy

I spend a lot of time looking up weight loss tips, stories, blogs, transformations etc. It is a way to motivate myself as well as a way to torture myself.

Do you ever look at a person and wish your after was their “before”? Because I do. And, then I get into this weird shame spiral of “Why bother?”

Recently, I have been seeing more and more “befores” of women with really healthy looking bodies. Flat tummies, sculpted legs, thin arms. Then they join crossfit or start eating clean or train for a marathon and become models for Self (is that mag still around?). Good for them, fo sho. I mean if that makes them happy, all the power to them. But the cynical fat girl in me is like “Ummmm you were done, why are you putting yourself through the fresh hell of paleo?”

Oh, how you get me...
Oh, how you get me…

Being healthy is important. Though, I do envy the people who eat Cheetos and pizza all day, everyday and complain about how they cannot gain weight. People cannot live on nachos alone, so I’ve been told. However, I am willing to put this theory to the test. But as I am approaching my 28th birthday and beginning to question my mortality- that’s normal, right?- I am starting to have an appreciation for the importance of having a balanced diet, eating less processed food and even *gulp* monitoring the amount of red wine I consume. want to lose weight eating GS cookies

Obv, there are also the before and afters which make my journey ahead look like a walk in the park. Men and women losing hundreds of pounds without surgery is so inspiring to me. I think those “befores” are much more motivating to me.  Not because they make me feel better about where I am (well, maybe a little bit because of that… ) but because they have had to work even harder, even longer and overcome obstacles that people who were at a healthy weight would never be able to comprehend.

I feel like this sounds way more judgey than I want it to. I really am impressed with average people who transform their bodies into beast mode. Maybe I am jealous. Maybe I am just intimidated that I will never be satisfied with my body even when I get to where it is that I think I want to be.

Don't judge my judging...
Don’t judge my judging…

The original point that I had planned to make was that people should be happy with where they are at in their journey. Your “before” may be someone else’s “after”.

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